I doubled down on my own sexual awakening and put away my vibrator.

When I learned more about how to spend time with my whole body and awaken my G spot and my cervix, my body's communication with me got a whole lot more... articulate.

I was listening better so I could hear more from her. What did she tell me?

There had been many times that I had settled for sex she didn't really want.

I didn't even know that.

My husband has always been an engaged, sensitive, skillful lover. He hadn't violated my consent. I had.

My own complicity...
In rushing before my body was really turned on
​
In not speaking up for her cravings
​
In accepting sex when he wanted it, taking what I could get because I was so starved for it when I was the higher desire partner
​
​.... I had violated her flawless compass for what she most loved.

I had so many feelings about my body’s “no” when I started to hear it!

As I had been connecting more deeply to myself, my body, my desire, my turn on, Kurt was doing the same.
​
We made more space than ever for erotic time together, and we both wanted so much to be close.

My body's saying "no" was HIGHLY inconvenient.

What I've learned, though, by really listening to what she does want and doesn't want, and speaking out loud on her behalf is that so much more is available for me than I knew.

By asking for what my body really wants, even when it's scary or even when I'm sad that I don't want what is on offer already, I have gotten so much more than I ever thought I could have, erotically, emotionally, and in terms of support.

I want you to know that if you can relate to any of these things, I get it!

• "I'm really not that into sex at this point in my life."
• "I feel sad that we don't have sex more, but I almost can't imagine getting back to how we used to feel."
• "I'm pretty sure the best sex of my life is behind me."
• "Our sex is fine. It's not peel-me-off-the-ceiling, but this is just how it is."
• "I can't talk to him about it, because it will hurt his feelings too badly. "

All of those make sense.

I've heard them all from other amazing, sex positive women.

But here's what I want you to know: no matter how good or how mediocre the sex is right now in your relationship, you can own your own turn on.

You can change the relationship with your body and learn to become your own best lover. And as you do, you will create new avenues for intimacy with your partner (current or future).

You may be scared, as I was, that the more turn-on you experience, the greater the gap between you and your beloved and their ability to go there with you.

But it is not my experience, either in my marriage or in my practice, that a partner can't keep up with a woman who's truly committed to her erotic awakening and to her relationship. There is nothing that pleases a partner more than becoming an ever better lover to an ever more awakening, awakened erotic priestess.

So if your partner's approach to sex has not been doing it for you, you are absolutely not alone. In fact, you're probably in the majority. But we don't have to start with THEM to transform your experience of the erotic realm and eventually your interpersonal erotic adventures together. We start with you and your relationship to your own turn-on.

The tools that I use work for me, and they work for the women I teach them to.

If you're thinking that feeling sexier, more turned on, more orgasmic, more erotic, is a shallow pursuit, it's because you haven't done it.

Our bodies are portals to the Divine. That deep truth has been buried by individuals and organizations who feared the power the female body possesses and accesses. But there's nothing for anyone to fear about a turned-on woman. The more pleasure and passion a woman has, the more generosity and compassion she shows.

A woman fueled by pleasure is the safest person in the world for herself and others. And any woman who wants to can learn to run on pleasure.

This is why I've created a new program that's not for couples: it's just for women.

Long-married, single, in a new relationship... No matter. Everything changes, anyway. But I want YEARS with you. Years to walk this path of conscious embodiment, wild love, and pleasure-fueled activism in this hungry world.

​RECEIVE opens this week.​

If you've missed any of the other stories in this series, you can catch up by clicking the links below.

1. ​"From fighting all night to resolving conflicts with ease"​
2. ​"The sure-fire way to feel like your spouse's parent"​
3. ​"I would've left if it weren't for this"​
4. ​"I was allergic to being happy"​
5. ​"I thought my body was wrong"​

And as always, please drop me a line if you have any questions or want to let me know how this resonated with you.

Love love,

P.S. In a few days, I'll share how it is possible to get to the bottom of a sticky sexual obstacle, whether there's sexual trauma, sexual avoidance, a porn habit, or any other block to erotic connection happening inside you, or in your relationship. So much more as possible. Tell you all about it in my next message!
​

And if you've been wanting a mentor to help you actualize your potential in love, sex, and communication, I am at your service inside my new mentorship program (meaning, pay once, and I'm your mentor for the foreseeable future!), RECEIVE. Get on the waitlist here.​

​

Michele Lisenbury Christensen, MA Host of the Sex.Love.Power Podcast Love & Sex Coach for women, men, and couples ​ ​lisenbury.com​